Episode 25 – Drive Angry – Sorry for the Delays!

If you thought it’d be impossible for Nick Cage to look more trashy than he did in Con Air, you were sadly mistaken. This week we experienced the 2011 masterpiece, Drive Angry, In the film, Nick Cage stars as a man who comes back from the dead to save his deceased daughter’s child from a …

Episode 24 – Spring Breakers – I Got Scarface On Repeat

This week we watched a masterpiece called spring breakers starring James Franco doing his best riff raff impersonation. It’s a charming film about 4 innocent girls who go to beautiful Saint Petersburg, FL and become drug dealing gangsters….oh and there’s a Brittney Spears montage. Join us next week as we attempt to sit through Drive …

Episode 23 – 2012 – John Cusack Versus the World

Some men just want to watch the world burn…but not like this. This week we watch John Cusack do the impossible by making Armageddon boring. Seriously…if us watching this one again would let mankind survive the apocalypse, we’d all be doomed. Join us next week when we celebrate the season with Spring Breakers. Also featured …

Episode 22 – Con Air – Put the Bunny in the Box

This week we dived into Con Air, a movie so bad even Nick Cage’s beautiful hair couldn’t save it. Watch as the worst convicts in the world take over this aircraft and wreak all sorts of havoc along the way. Prepare for terrible jokes and even worse acting. Next week, we watch John Cusack unfortunately …

Episode 21 – Under Siege – The Navy: It’s Not Just a Job. It’s an Adventure

This week we watch Die Hard….on a boat…with Steven Seagal. Only it’s called Under Siege and is much worse. Who knew a knife fight with Tommy Lee Jones could make a movie worse? Join us next week as we watch Nick Cage jump start his career with Con Air.. Videos we mentioned during the podcast: …

Episode 20 – Fifty Shades of Grey – They Spelled Gray Wrong

To celebrate our 20th episode, we grab our favorite marital aids and went to the theater to watch 50 Shades of Grey. It’s a beautiful love story staring some sort of a handsome robot with less acting skill than Steven Hawking and a girl that’s a 6/10 on a good day. Join us next week …

Episode 19 – Wild Wild West – Never Drum on a White Lady’s Boobies at a Redneck Dance

This week we take a look at Will Smith hang neck in Wild Wild West. Listen along as we discuss Will Smith’s worst career decision, Salma Hayek’s…talents, and well…that’s about all that’s worth mentioning in this awful movie. Next week, for a very special Episode 20, we creep people out by going to see 50 …

Episode 18 – Starship Troopers – The Only Good Bug is a Dead Bug

This week we watch the 1997 theatrical abortion, Starship Troopers over pancakes and sausages. We talk about shower scenes and X-Rated bug faces. Join us next week as we watch Will Smith make his second worst decision in Wild Wild West, his first being a lack of contraception.

Episode 17 – Doom – A Bottle of Tequila and Three She-Boys

Alien tongue-penises and alien/zombie boobs all over the place! Join us this week as we witness a cinematic masterpiece staring the one great shining beacon of all that is man. I, of course, can only be referring to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s amazing performance in Doom.  Join us next week as we calm our Rock …

Episode 16 – Jack and Jill – I Can Smell Horny From Across the Ocean

In advance, we apologize for this episode’s movie. This week we watch the all Adam Sandler circle jerk that was Jack and Jill. All of the cringe-worthy moments of Sandler’s other work, without the funny bits. Join us next week when we watch the gorgeous Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in Doom.

Episode 14 – Face/Off – I Can Eat A Peach For Hours

This week we watch Face/Off, a movie from 1997 that has it all, from face-swapping to Nick Cage talking about face-sitting. Stick around as we discuss sexual hoverboards, sex changes, and Mila Kunis’ mouth. Stay tuned next week for Battlefield Earth.

Episode 13 – Congo – Tickle Me Amy

Pull out your banana and have some fun. This week we watch the 1995 letdown, Congo. It’s a love story about a man and his gorilla, forced to flee to the Congo because of the consequences of their forbidden love…or something like that…I know there were space lasers. To be honest, I fell asleep while …

Episode 12 – Jumper – Anakin Sucks Again.

This week we watch Jumper, the film that beat out Heath Ledger’s suicide for worst thing to happen to movies in 2008. In a surprising move, Hayden Christensen manages to to show less emotion and be less likable than at the end of Star Wars Episode 3. Seriously, this movie was awful, which made it …

Episode 11 – Timecop – I wish JCVD was my best friend.

Forget about your Deloreans and creepy old scientists. This week we go back in time with 1994 classic, TimeCop. It’s got mullets. It’s got tits. It’s got Jean-Claude doing splits on top of counters. Stick around to hear us talk about sexually assaulting dinosaurs and what should have been done about the last Indiana Jones …

Episode 5 – Surf Nazi’s Must Die – A Master Race to the Finish

In this episode we review the 1987 classic, Surf Nazis Must Die, a delightful film about a surf gang that takes over the beaches of LA after a “devastating” earthquake. I think we found where Keanu Reeves found his motivation for Point Break. The film was full of awful acting, bad dialog, and surfboards with …

Episode 4 – Hell Baby – Po’ Boys and Pasties

This week we take a look at Hell Baby, a horror/comedy about an evil house, a possession, and a baby that could have been the mascot for Trojan condoms. In this episode, we discuss old sexy women, unexpected gender changes, and the current box office, so sit back and have one of those laughs you feel bad …

Episode 3 – Rubber – The kid is right, the tire is the killer.

This week, we take a look at the movie Rubber, a flick about a homicidal tire that kills almost as many people as a Firestone tire on a Ford Explorer.  We’ll also tackle Birdman, The Judge, Addicted, and a few other upcoming movies. Next week: Hell Baby

Episode 2 – Vampire Academy – You don’t want to get a nose job in Montana

This week on the Goose Riot Bad Movies Podcast we discuss Vampire Academy, a movie about a hot half-vampire who wasn’t played by Wesley Snipes. We also discuss upcoming movie releases and review the weekend’s releases. Be prepared, blood isn’t the only thing being sucked this week.