Episode 17 – Doom – A Bottle of Tequila and Three She-Boys

Alien tongue-penises and alien/zombie boobs all over the place! Join us this week as we witness a cinematic masterpiece staring the one great shining beacon of all that is man. I, of course, can only be referring to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s amazing performance in Doom.  Join us next week as we calm our Rock …

Episode 16 – Jack and Jill – I Can Smell Horny From Across the Ocean

In advance, we apologize for this episode’s movie. This week we watch the all Adam Sandler circle jerk that was Jack and Jill. All of the cringe-worthy moments of Sandler’s other work, without the funny bits. Join us next week when we watch the gorgeous Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in Doom.

Episode 14 – Face/Off – I Can Eat A Peach For Hours

This week we watch Face/Off, a movie from 1997 that has it all, from face-swapping to Nick Cage talking about face-sitting. Stick around as we discuss sexual hoverboards, sex changes, and Mila Kunis’ mouth. Stay tuned next week for Battlefield Earth.

Episode 13 – Congo – Tickle Me Amy

Pull out your banana and have some fun. This week we watch the 1995 letdown, Congo. It’s a love story about a man and his gorilla, forced to flee to the Congo because of the consequences of their forbidden love…or something like that…I know there were space lasers. To be honest, I fell asleep while …

Episode 12 – Jumper – Anakin Sucks Again.

This week we watch Jumper, the film that beat out Heath Ledger’s suicide for worst thing to happen to movies in 2008. In a surprising move, Hayden Christensen manages to to show less emotion and be less likable than at the end of Star Wars Episode 3. Seriously, this movie was awful, which made it …

Episode 11 – Timecop – I wish JCVD was my best friend.

Forget about your Deloreans and creepy old scientists. This week we go back in time with 1994 classic, TimeCop. It’s got mullets. It’s got tits. It’s got Jean-Claude doing splits on top of counters. Stick around to hear us talk about sexually assaulting dinosaurs and what should have been done about the last Indiana Jones …

Episode 10 – The Phantom – Old Jungle Saying

This week we take a look at The Phantom, a comic book classic from 1996. We have no idea what to think about this one. Does he have super powers? Is he schizophrenic? We have no clue. We do know that Affleck could have made it better. Stick around to join us as we discuss Jurassic …